Wedding Bells for Stevie

In less than a month, my little sister, Stevie, will become Mrs. Stephanie Arias-Anderson. By the way, don't you dare call her Stevie, she's liable to tear your throat out, unless you're an immediate family member, who she's completely given up on the "Stephanie Movement" with. In fact, I think I'm the only one who consistently calls her that, and, well, I always will. When we're shriveled old grannies, I'll still be chanting, "Stevie's a Fartknocker!" and making faces at her in church...you can mark my words on that one!

When Stevie was a baby, she had the most beautiful face. She had a porcelain complexion and the biggest, most gorgeous eyes you've ever seen. I still remember her laying in a pastel afghan that she received as a baby gift, and wriggling around while my dad, changed her diaper...gagging and grimacing through the whole event.

As a toddler, Stevie's love for the pacifier, which she dubbed, "the ciggy" was completely outrageous. My mother would attach brightly colored ribbons to each ciggy, in the hopes that we would be able to find them, but without fail, ciggy would get lost in the abyss and dad would be driving from Aurora to Naperville in search of a store that was open at midnight AND carried the right style of pacifier.

As a small child, Stevie was to say the least, entertaining. She developed a passion for music early, it's an Arias thing, and could be seen sitting at the kitchen table with a gigantic pair of headphones on, singing her heart out into an old microphone (which wasn't attached to anything), and making rock star faces that she learned by watching our older brother, Joe.

We grew up on a small farm, filled with random animals from ducks to horses. She would run around the farm with a pair of ridiculously tame goat kids (literally), named Whitney and Madonna. They would frolic around the farm for hours. Stevie would stop and let them eat mom's flowers, and on occasion, invite them into the house to play on mom's bed (note: mom was not happy).

When she was naughty all we had to do was tell her that the "Weyoo Weyoo's" (that was what she called cops because of the sound of the siren) were coming for her, and she would immediately stop what she was doing and start crying. Is it wrong that Joe and I laughed every time? No, no it's not.

Joe would sometimes be given the gruesome job of butchering rabbits. Not his idea of fun, but what the dad says, goes. That's life on the farm. Stevie was always curious about everything and one day decided she would see what Joe was up to. The maniacal pair, decided to gang up on the Jessi, which by the way, happened a lot. I'm sorry to be graphic, but the fact of the matter is, when you pop a rabbit over the head with a hammer (which was how we released them of their Earthly bodies) their eyes will occasionally, well, pop out. On this particular day, the eyes popped out. So sadistic Thing One gave rotten Thing Two a pair of said eyeballs to "share" with me. I was in the house, watching tv, when my sweet, innocent, little Stevie runs in, extends her hand, and reveals two eyeballs shouting, "Snake Eyes!" She then chases a screaming me around the table and back out the door. Nice, guys, nice.

As Stevie slipped into the "tween" years, she developed a nasty habit. We'll call it "Hanson". Hanson cursed the Arias clan for years. She plastered their freakish mugs all over her room, her text book covers, everything. We frequently endured long, drawn out Hanson related stories and were immersed in all the Taylor facts you never wanted to know. By the way, "Tay", happy freakin' birthday on March, 14th. See Stevie, I WAS listening. That's a piece of wasted brain space I'll never get back! I think the one that got the worst end of the Hanson obsession was dad. That poor guy had to chaperon more than one Hanson concert. It's a wonder he wasn't trampled by a herd of MMM...Bopping rabid 12 year old girls.

Teenager Stevie was a fantastic artist, had an incredible set of vocal pipes and developed a deep sense of faith and balanced it all with a quirky sense of humor and an appreciation for emo. You could hear her upstairs singing away to some thick eye-linered, 15 year old's lament about how life isn't fair as she got ready for the youth group that she was very active in.

The Stevie College Edition was a bright teaching student, with a flair for the dramatic (i.e. the Vagina Monologues). BTW, while Stevie's performance was great, the best part was watching my dad sit through it...he's not exactly comfortable with the word vagina, much less anything that any of those young women were discussing.

Stevie graduated college (woot) and became a school teacher. She's had a few interesting boyfriends over the years, but she's landed on a real winner. We're so happy that she found Erik. Not only does he look normal :) but he's got a brilliant mind and he truly loves my sister.

Now, Bride Stevie is preparing to take her vows and replace her Ms. with Mrs. I'm absolutely astonished at how time has flown by and that beautiful baby has become an even more beautiful bride.

It makes me think about my parents and my own children. My youngest isn't even 1 yet, and I know, someday I will be watching him marry the woman of his dreams, no matter how much I want to believe that I will always be the most important woman in his life.

At the end of the month, my parents are going to watch their baby take a new last name and start a totally new life as a married woman. I can't imagine what they're feeling and I can certainly wait to find out.

Stevie, I love you, but you're a fartknocker!